Almost eleven

Alison is on vacation with her sister this week. This is the first time she will be gone from us for more than one night. The break is good but the house is soooo quiet. We have had Alison for 16 months. Her language is very good now. We can communicate on just about anything now and she understands. Now we are working on expanding the vocabulary.

In a year she has had some great strides. She has learned to ride her bike, roller skate, roll like a pro on her heelys and learned to swim. We have had our first trip to Disney and a cruise. She has had oral surgery to clean her teeth and extract some very rotten teeth. She has played soccer, tried basketball, danced her first tap and jazz recital and is now loving gymnastics. She has another school year of Chinese (Sunday school each week). She can read, write and spell. She passed her multiplication exam through 12's. She has done book reports, oral reports and a speech / poster board on Thomas Jefferson.

Mostly she has learned to love and to trust. She loves her family. Alison loves belonging. She is a social butterfly. She is our family gatherer. She can't get her family together too often. She calls her sisters on the phone to just talk and every phone call ends with, "can I come to you house?"

I almost can't remember our life without her.

Oh Happy Day

Last night as we were praying before bed I asked Alison if she wanted to pray. She wanted me to pray and she repeated what I said. This is the first time she has seemed interested in praying. She has willinging held our hands as we pray for several months but didn't seem to understand what we were doing.



We went out to eat tonight and Lynn asked me to pray. And she said "I pray". Now she still wanted me to help her with the words but she wanted to be the one who prayed. Wow. That is awesome.



She is a television "alcoholic" and I pull her away as much as I can. At bedtime as she was getting ready for bed she says "I sleep in here"... meaning our bed. Well, of course because Lynn had the TV on. We went back to her room and she kept asking "I watch TV, little bit, please?" I told her Daddy was turning off the TV and where did she want to sleep? She says, "OH MAN".... and them "hummmmp". I left her room and went back to our room. She came in when she was in her PJs and climbed in our bed. She says, "I like this one." Lynn asked her to come to him and give him a hug which she did willingly. He said, "I love you". and she said "I love you".



OH MY. OH MY. OH MY. She knows hugging and she knows what I love you means and she never hugs dad and she never says I love you to anyone. What a break through.



Besides the lovey stuff. She is reading beginning reader books. She can sound out most words. She may not pronounce them correctly but she is making great strides.

Purple Princess is all smiles...

Here's our girl playing in her room instead of sleeping. With that smile, what is a mom to do?

We have had a wonderful week. I am just beside myself with happiness. Everyone who knows Alison and has worked with her during this time of adjustment is almost as happy as we are. But no one is as happy as she is.

The pictures above were taken in her bedroom one evening. She was so happy. She pulled all eight of her Barbie type dolls and put them all in bed with her. She then posed for some pictures. This is not a child who just likes her picture taken.

This week is the week that goes down as the most dramatic change in our home. It started slowly about a week ago. Alison started talking at home... in English and in Chinese. If she doesn't know the words in English she says it in Chinese and then fusses when we don't understand her. She just wants to be understood!

As we left Angie's one afternoon, she says "Angie.....Caleb.... Nolan.... Ethan". Oh my, I was elated. I had never heard her say their names, ever! And she said them all. Then she says, "daddy?" OHHHH Yes. Scott. She wanted to know what Scott's name was. What is the name of Caleb, Nolan and Ethan's daddy? Before I could pick my mouth up off the floor she continues... "Michelle..... Alyssa" (then she shrugs because Michelle is divorced and she doesn't see Alyssa's dad often). She continues, "Emilie, Maggie, Joseph..... Daniel ..... Hollie.... Tammie". I said don't forget Kyle (we saw him in Florida) and she didn't say Stephen but she hasn't seen him much. Then she says, "daddy"? Greg, his name is Greg. She put her whole family together. She knew who went with who and wanted to know the guys names. She also wanted to know what my name and Lynn's name were. Was I a proud momma. That is a lot of people to get straight.

Over the next week or so, the words kept coming, "what's that", "I want that one", "I don't know", "I hungry" and many others. This week at dinner one night she offered me a bite of somehthing and I just grunted. She looks at me and says, "Can you say no thank you?" Cough, choke, smile, "well, yes I can. No, Thank you." OH MY GOODNESS. Someone in the family might as well have manners.

Then Thursday at school, she opened up. I was hoping it was about time with all of the language we had at home but I never dreamed it would come so fast. Anyway, Alison has never spoken much at school. Well, except for the "no" to everything you ask her. Not now, she started talking to everyone. She talked to the kids and her teacher, Mrs. Lanham, and most of all to Jennifer. Jennifer is a little girl from China who speaks fluent Mandarin and they are in class together. Even Jennifer didn't get hardly any words from Alison even though they sit beside each other. I have talked to Jennifer and she thinks Alison doesn't like her. I tried to explain she was just shy. Now they are the chatter twins in their secret language that no one else understands. Now they are both happy.

Now if that isn't enough, it just gets better.

Thursday afternoon we have a break through and then Thursday night she had a school program where Alison's class was to sing and dance on stage. Of course she told her teacher NO but she did the practices for the program and we crossed our fingers. We were told the kids were to wear Sunday church clothes. Now that means a dress except this child has NEVER worn a dress. I failed on Easter to get a dress on her not once but twice. I tried last week to convince her to wear a dress and she pulled on the sweats. I failed. I was prepared for the fight (losing miserably) and the child being the only little princess up on stage in pants and a school shirt.

I kept putting it off. We had such a good day and now I was going to have to fight her over a dress. Anyway, I told her she needed to get ready for her program and she didn't get it (you know... sing... dance with your class). I said she needed to wear a dress to school to sing and dance and she said "NO". I told her that Jennifer is wearing a dress and we went to her room. I pulled out all four of her dresses. She said flat out no to the black/white polka dot and the red/white polka dots(ok, I got carried away with dots...but they are different and very cute and I bought them at different times and I forgot what I had at home). Well, again I got the big no. She did look at the purple flowered dress and the pink dress. She held each of them up and then chose the purple. SHE PUT ON A DRESS. SHE PUT ON A DRESS. We were in her room 5 minutes and she made a decision and put on a dress. Next, she got her panty hose out of the drawer and I helped her put them on. (I didn't even know she knew what they were.)

WOW. I was so happy to get a dress on her and then she surprised me again. She got a head band out of the drawer. Now that sounds so simple. She has NEVER put anything in her hair. EVER. Her adoption pictures showed her in a dress with her hair pulled back. I took hair things with me to China and nope she would have none of them except to fill her Barbie's heair with braid after braid. No matter what I bought for her hair, she would not wear it. You can imagine how surprised I was when she would not agree to wear a dress or put anything in her hair. If she hadn't opened up to Jennifer it would not have mattered what Jennifer was wearing! Thank you Jennifer!

She sang in her program and danced. She even smiled. Everyone told her how pretty she was. The school is a buzz with the rumor that she is talking.

On Friday, the words continued. She usually just swings during recess... all alone. Not now. She is playing with the other kids from her class. Can anything else change?

Oh, I forgot. She also learned to ride her bike on Wednesday. Ok, she rode it for blocks and then crashed into the garage door to stop but she is riding really well.

WHEW! She is trying to read. She is writing letters. She is understanding money and how much each coin is worth. She is playing more on Webkinz and making recipes for her pets.

Less you think it is all roses. She is controlling the TV. She gets mad when we don't let her watch what she wants. She hates her bike helmet and is ignoring us when we tell her to put it on. She pouts when you ask her to put up her own things. She is not going to sleep when put to bed. She gets up and plays and we put her back to bed several times.

But did I tell you she is calling us mommy and daddy? Well, throw the discipline problems out the window. We are giddy with joy. Our child can talk, ride a bike and she mostly likes us. What a week.

Spring Break... what a break

There's nothing like a beach...

Look at that smile. We spent last week in Destin, FL on the beach. On this day, we were all a bit cold but Alison was "AT THE BEACH". She loved the beach but the pool is still number one. We had a great time in the warmer temps of Florida.

We had a heated pool and the beach. We played on the beach and then I would get this swimming motion and she would say "that one"... so off we went to the pool. She was in, under and trying to swim on-top of the water. We bought a noodle and she thinks the breast stroke works with a noodle. I kept showing her a regular straight leg kick but what do I know. If we had stayed one more week, she would have been swimming. Boy is she going to love having a pool in her own back yard. Bring on summer.


Every swimmer needs their pink goggles!





The Bass Pro Shop keeps the kids off the boats by having a very scary security shark.
You might think Alison is screaming with fright but she is actually showing her most fearsome face to scare that shark away. Alyssa looks like she loves this toothy guy but she said she thought he was scary because his head is up and it looks like he could eat you.


I was just glad that the girls didn't get swallowed by the shark... oh I know he isn't real. I was afraid all of the pulling, pushing and trying to pull his teeth would pull him from the supports holding him up!










We went out in the Gulf for a dolphin watch. Alison looked like captain material so she was allowed to try out the big chair. She looks very happy to be captain of a ship.

So lifeguard, shark bait or skipper?

Maybe she just wants to be a beach beauty.

She certainly has that title!

Tears and Fears and Reconciliation

We are doing so well. Alison is so happy. Right now she is beside me humming as she waits for HS Musical Concert to start again. She is really trying to pronouce the words/songs. I am being induldgent hoping this will help her with English language.

But she has had a rough time. I wasn't home a week ago Thursday night to put her to bed. Friday morning she was up very early to see if I was in bed. She hasn't done that before. She is never up at 6 AM and she seldom comes in our room without an invitation and never when it is still dark. She climbed in bed with me and all seemed ok.

Friday afternoon was the first time that her sister or I had not picked her up from school. On this day she had to go to after school care and Dad was picking her up about two hours later. Alison melted into a puddle of tears. Her teacher was notified and she came to check on Alison. I guess there were such puppy eyes that Judy couldn't leave her behind. So Alison's teacher took her back to the classroom to wait for Dad to come get her. Alison was pretty anxious to get out of school and went with Lynn. She seemed fine but when they walked in the door at home, she burst into sobs.

When I got home about 40 minutes later, she was calm but before we left again to go eat she broke down and cried again. She was just so sad. She threw herself into my arms and cried. She was very sad all evening. When we got home from eating, I put her into our bed to watch a movie so we could all lay there together. At bedtime, she did not want to go to her room. She NEVER slept with us before. She not only slept with us Friday night but did so for the next three nights. She slept touching me each night. If I turned over and scooted her, she came right back and laid against me. Saturday and Sunday during the day she seemed ok but by nightfall, the sadness was back and she wanted to sleep with us again.

What did she think? Did she think we were not keeping her anymore? Did she think she was back in a school (orphanage)? Did she think she was being punished? I do not know. Maybe it was just something different that she couldn't handle not knowing what to expect. We may find out later but for now, we won't try that again.

That was last weekend. Monday things got back to normal with school and all. Monday night she slept in her room. She hasn't been as sad again.

Tuesday we went to High School Musical on Tour. OH MY GOODNESS. She didn't know we were going. Lynn brought her downtown with Michelle. Alyssa joined us and we ate before we went to the Murrat. When she saw the posters and we said we were there to see HSM, she just giggled and bounced. She sang and sang and sang. She played with Alyssa. She called to Alyssa, "come on Alyssa" several times. She was one happy girl.

I wish you all could see her now. Our shy, wall flower is acting out the songs and the story of HSM 2. She is singing all the songs. She is trying to do all of the motions and dance steps. She is taking all the best parts. Sometimes she is Gabriella and sometimes Sharpy. She is even Ryan now as she sings the songs while they are on the baseball field. She has Lynn dancing with her and he is Troy. She is jumping, kicking, throwing the ball and she just slid into home.

Now that is the fun stuff. Can I say stubborn?! She has four very pretty, new dresses. I knew it would take some effort to get her into one. I get the head shake and the hand saying no at the same time. I laid out a dress and panty hose on her bed this afternoon. I wanted her to get used to the idea. When she noticed the dress, she picked it up and carried it into my room. She was very animated as she pointed to the dress and then to herself shaking her head no and saying no at the same time. I got dressed and I put on panty hose and the whole bit. She didn't care. She wore her Chinese gotcha outfit (silk pants and shirt).

She has two new very distinct new words, "NO" and "Stop". She also will say "one more time", "sorry". She is drinking more water and lots of chocolate milk. She eats ham and turkey slices for breakfast, lunch and snack before dinner. She likes donuts and "peeps" but isn't really fond of chocolate eggs but likes M&Ms.

I guess she got tired of dancing. She did somersaults from the living room around the dining room, thru the sunroom and back into the living room. She turned on the light in the hallway and took Lynn in there to show him she can stand on her head against the wall. Now she singing (Gabriella) to Dad (Troy) which includes holding his hands. She is coming over to me and closing the computer so I will be Sharpy and say the words/lyrics (which I don't know that well).

Oh, I didn't tell you all about the dentist last week. She would NOT open her mouth. They have a basketball room that she kept going in shooting and running to tell me how many baskets she had made. I thought she was so comfortable that she would be fine but nope. They were only able to use her toothbrush to move over her teeth and try to see what might be going on. She liked putting the mirror in my mouth but we couldn't get it in hers. The doctor was able to see two abscessed teeth so she is going in next Thursday for extraction of at least two teeth but maybe four. She will be out and a deep cleaning will be done while she is under. She will be a wreck so I had better be prepared for the wrath of Alison.

So how do you balance the really good bonding with the attitude and demands? We are really trying to pick our battles. I guess a dress isn't worth a battle. She gets moody when we shop and she doesn't get everything she wants. She usually gets something. Today we were wrapping presents for the grandkids birthday and she understood the gifts were for others and seemed to accept that. There is a Sharpy doll that she has had her eyes on for sometime but it is for Alyssa. I had to put it up to keep her from taking it out of the box but she knows it is for Alyssa.

Well, that catches you up. We are going to Florida next weekend for spring break. A lot of new things to experience. It is very odd to have a child that has all of these experiences and talents that you know nothing about. Alyssa is coming with us. They play together so well.

She has become very affectionate but on her timing. Tonight at church I rubbed her back and I got the elbow and the shun. When she wants to be close, she is all over me. I believe we are close on her letting loose with words. She understands most everything. She is great at charades and I am too. I guess that is why we understand so much but now the words mean as much as the motions.

Tomorrow is Easter. The whole family will be here. The family dynamics at their finest. We will see how she is with all the kids together.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgNXQ2CazUg

March & we have a new child

It seems every week, we see a major transition in Alison. Not that we don't recognize her anymore . She has a funny sense of humor and loves to tease. I love to hear her laugh. I love the look she gives me when Lynn teases her and she gives me that knowing smile... you know like we are in it together.

We are not watching the Chinese movies I bought in China. I picked up a bunch of movies and some have Cantonese and Mandarin as options plus other languages that I don't know what they are because I can't read what it says. Anyway, we haven't watched a movie in Chinese in about two weeks. Of course if you let her, the choice is always "High School Musical" now. We have been watching "Super Why" and "Ni Hao, Kai-lan" on TV after school. I tape them and we watch them when she gets home. She is really funny with Kai-lan, she says everything they say in Chinese. Lynn and I repeat the Chinese too and she giggles and shakes her head over our pronunciation.

I took her spelling words and looked them up on a website that teaches Mandarin. It is amazing when you see all the Chinese words for "left". I picked the one I thought was the most obvious for the sentence the teacher will use to ask the kids to spell the word. Anyway, I copied the Chinese characters and then the pinyin. So, three columns... spelling word.... Chinese character...pinyin. Maybe this isn't helping her but most spelling words are very abstract. I just wanted to give her something she could review as she writes her spelling words. In church, she wrote all three columns out and seemed to be reading the Chinese.

She has beautiful handwriting. I think at this point she is just trying to memorize everything. She knows the alphabet and can write it. She recognizes the letters and can pick them out on the computer keyboard as I tell her what to write. She loves crafts. She will draw and cut out just about anything. She is an audio learner. She loves to sing and it something is put to music, she is repeating it very quickly.

Alison was looking around my sewing room on Friday and was very excited to see a small set of tools in a drawer (I use them on my sewing machines). She tried to take something apart with a screwdriver but I asked her to put the screwdriver up. Well, on Sunday morning she had the screwdriver out and had taken her cheap music phone apart (it was working before she took it apart). She broke both wires so of course it isn't fixable. She was very sad that it was broken and Lynn couldn't easily fix it. She needs to learn that you don't take things apart. When we wonder where she is when she is out of our sight, either Lynn or I will make a comment about her upstairs taking apart my quilting machine. Now that would not be funny.

On Sunday, she got on her bicycle like she knew what she was doing. Well, she knows how to pedal and she knows how to fall off. She could go about 4-6 pedals of the bike and seem to "have it" and then fall over. We need to go to a large parking lot with no traffic to work on this again. Then later that day, she put on in-line skates. Again, she falls really good. She was very patient and wasn't afraid to fall and she would get up over and over to try it again. She finally got to a point where she wasn't doing too bad and could go a ways before she fell.

Alison is still so shy. She is making up with a few people but not many. She is also very stubborn and no, she is not talking. She is understanding but not speaking unless forced. We are gong on spring break with Michelle and Alyssa. I think that will be our major communication breakthrough. I think talking to Alyssa will become pretty natural once they are together for a week.