March & we have a new child

It seems every week, we see a major transition in Alison. Not that we don't recognize her anymore . She has a funny sense of humor and loves to tease. I love to hear her laugh. I love the look she gives me when Lynn teases her and she gives me that knowing smile... you know like we are in it together.

We are not watching the Chinese movies I bought in China. I picked up a bunch of movies and some have Cantonese and Mandarin as options plus other languages that I don't know what they are because I can't read what it says. Anyway, we haven't watched a movie in Chinese in about two weeks. Of course if you let her, the choice is always "High School Musical" now. We have been watching "Super Why" and "Ni Hao, Kai-lan" on TV after school. I tape them and we watch them when she gets home. She is really funny with Kai-lan, she says everything they say in Chinese. Lynn and I repeat the Chinese too and she giggles and shakes her head over our pronunciation.

I took her spelling words and looked them up on a website that teaches Mandarin. It is amazing when you see all the Chinese words for "left". I picked the one I thought was the most obvious for the sentence the teacher will use to ask the kids to spell the word. Anyway, I copied the Chinese characters and then the pinyin. So, three columns... spelling word.... Chinese character...pinyin. Maybe this isn't helping her but most spelling words are very abstract. I just wanted to give her something she could review as she writes her spelling words. In church, she wrote all three columns out and seemed to be reading the Chinese.

She has beautiful handwriting. I think at this point she is just trying to memorize everything. She knows the alphabet and can write it. She recognizes the letters and can pick them out on the computer keyboard as I tell her what to write. She loves crafts. She will draw and cut out just about anything. She is an audio learner. She loves to sing and it something is put to music, she is repeating it very quickly.

Alison was looking around my sewing room on Friday and was very excited to see a small set of tools in a drawer (I use them on my sewing machines). She tried to take something apart with a screwdriver but I asked her to put the screwdriver up. Well, on Sunday morning she had the screwdriver out and had taken her cheap music phone apart (it was working before she took it apart). She broke both wires so of course it isn't fixable. She was very sad that it was broken and Lynn couldn't easily fix it. She needs to learn that you don't take things apart. When we wonder where she is when she is out of our sight, either Lynn or I will make a comment about her upstairs taking apart my quilting machine. Now that would not be funny.

On Sunday, she got on her bicycle like she knew what she was doing. Well, she knows how to pedal and she knows how to fall off. She could go about 4-6 pedals of the bike and seem to "have it" and then fall over. We need to go to a large parking lot with no traffic to work on this again. Then later that day, she put on in-line skates. Again, she falls really good. She was very patient and wasn't afraid to fall and she would get up over and over to try it again. She finally got to a point where she wasn't doing too bad and could go a ways before she fell.

Alison is still so shy. She is making up with a few people but not many. She is also very stubborn and no, she is not talking. She is understanding but not speaking unless forced. We are gong on spring break with Michelle and Alyssa. I think that will be our major communication breakthrough. I think talking to Alyssa will become pretty natural once they are together for a week.

And Then There Were Three...

Good news. Stephen went home from the hospital yesterday. I haven't written in so long. I was just a bit busy and can I admit a bit overwhelmed at times. I admit to napping each day to have an hour of regaining my resolve to do the dishes or fix the next meal. Now don't think I am complaining. Daniel and Joseph are the best prayers I know. The prayers of children are so sweet and to the point. You just know that God listens closely when they pray. Daniel (3) was getting so homesick. He is a bit of an imp and grins as he is telling you why he didn't do as you asked... oh man! Maggie HATES her medicine but by yesterday she was reminding me it was time for her medicine and has stopped saying in that sweet, sweet voice "but I don't like it". Emilie is the homemaker. She wants to help cook and even peels potatoes. She is very matter-of-fact as she tells what she had heard. She seems older than her 7 years. Hollie (14) is a funny kid. She is shy and reserved. They are each so special and so bonded to each other.

Alison really blossomed with Emilie and Maggie here. They girls raced from room to room and there were giggles galore. They all now share the love of "Highschool Musical". Alison now has a full grasp of Webkinz thanks to the girls. I started to call them cousins but they are nieces.

I took the kids home yesterday. Stephen was so excited to see them. You should have seen his eyes light up as he looked at his siblings. Then when they each hugged him, he just bounced on his mom's lap.

Tammie made Alison a plaque for her room. When Tammie was little, we should kiss daddy goodnight and I would carry her to bed. It started with her, being the oldest. I would pop around the corner and say "goodnight" and then disappear then come back and say "I love you" again go away and come back with "see you tomorrow". That was our bedtime saying every night. With three little girls, we had a chorus every night of "goodnight, I love you, see you tomorrow". She painted that on a plaque. Isn't that sweet????!!

On Saturday, we drove to Illinois to visit Jen. Jen was adopted from the same orphanage just a few weeks before we came to get Alison. We let the girls sit in a booth beside us. We had four grinning parents as these two girls chatted about their new life. Typical kids, there was teasing and some snatching of game pieces from each other. Jen is pretty well adjusted to her parents and seems to be bonding well. Alison was still pretty cool toward us. Alison watched the interaction between Jen and Kristy especially and we have seen a different child ever since that visit. We are going to let Jen and Alison call each other and we still hope to get them together when we can.

Alison is opening up. She was teasing with Dad on Sunday and he even coaxed her onto his shoulders. When it was bedtime, she tried to climb on his back so he did the piggyback ride to bed. I got a hug after school. I was in the kitchen and she came in to see what I was doing and she leaned into me and I gave her a big hug. She is mouthing more words and she is spending a good deal of time on http://www.starfall.com/. This is a wonderful site to learn to read and you can go at your own speed.

We are having a lazy day today. Alison had a fever last night so she is home today. She slept in until about 9:30. I took the kids home and when I came home Lynn had her in his lap all cuddled. OHHHH. Today she got up and laid with me on the couch. Oh and she doesn't flinch when I touch her now. I can stroke her hair or her shoulder without her moving away. I check for a fever and she is fine with the touch.

OHHH we got our hair cut on Monday. I would say "cut hair" and do scissors with my hands and she would say no. I used the translator and said we are going to get you hair cut a LITTLE (fingers just barely apart showing her how much). And she said no. I told her we were going after school to get her hair cut and she said no. I told her to get her coat on we were getting her hair cut and she said no. When it was her turn to get into the chair for her haircut, she said no. I sat back down in the chair and pulled her (gently, no real drag on her part) into my lap and we trimmed her bangs and the rest of her hair. She is fine with her hair cut. She sat on my lap while mine was being cut and styled and she combed her hair. At times like this, she is like a small child. What was a haircut like in the orphanage? I don't think I will get so many "no's" next time. I have not held a child while I was getting my hair done but she just needed to be close to me. She is wanting more time on my lap and that is fine with me.

School is going ok. She doesn't mind going to school. She isn't afraid for me to leave her. She isn't participating a lot but is doing papers of math and writing. She has beautiful handwriting. She isn't talking to anyone at school, even the girl who speaks Mandarin. She is giving smiles now though, even at school. We are doing ok. She helps me decide what is going into her lunch and gets her coat and backpack on her own without asking. She isn't a morning person but she gets dressed without any coaxing. She isn't reluctant about going, so she must be ok with school.

I will post some pictures later. Just wanted to get caught up before I forgot all of the progress. Brenda

School Days...

Alison started school on Tuesday. I went in at lunch time to help her figure out the routine. I failed as a mother in packing her lunch. She hated everything... maybe it was nerves! She drank her juice and tasted a few things and that was it. I gave her a good snack when she got home.

We went through her school bag as she ate her snack. She did very well with writing her name. She did a whole 1-10 math book and showed me the note about school lunches. Today after school we did the same. I let Angie pick her up today and she came in and we "kind of" hugged... she got close to me and I hugged her. We went through her bag. she pulled out the homework (her Bible verse for this week). We will have to work on it after dinner because I know she can learn it. We had another snack after school and she is content.

She is planted in the recliner playing Spider Solitare. I waited until she won a game and asked if she was on my login and she shook her head no. I asked for the mouse and she handed it over and sure enough she was on her login. I have some kid sites bookmarked on my login so I need to write the addresses down (when I can get my computer back... it is in high demand). I am using Lynn's laptop right now.

We had her appointment with the international adoption/infectious disease clinic this morning at Riley Hospital for Children. We had two MDs in the room with her for about an hour. They each did a full examination and asked a bunch of questions. I decided to do a "titer" to see where she is in her amount of protection from immunizations instead of just re-immunizing her again. She got her TB-test and a blood draw (lots and lots of viles). She squirmed and she cried but she sat on my lap and was consolable. After the blood draw, she got to pick a toy. Like any kid, she throws her coat to me until it is time to go outside and then we put it on...although we had to take it off the good arm and put the stiff "bad" arm in first. By the end of school, she is using her arm just fine.

Alison has one open spot on her pinky at the web part as it connects to the hand. We are going to watch that spot. It is new and I suspect it is a crack due to dry skin but it could be scabies although she really doesn't show any other spots. Her skin has become drier as we have been home in the cold weather so they suggested vasoline rubs or any lotion without smell. She has a scar on her right ear drum and some wax build-up in her left and a small increase in lymph gland. They suggested a school hearing test and then do a more thorough one if anything is flagged. She has been sniffly but is better so the docs suggest we watch her for signs of a cold. She has one cavity and some placque. Her gums bleed sometimes when she brushes her teeth. My plan is to wait a few more weeks so she isn't just scared with a new procedure. The doctors say that is fine. Overall, a good checkup. She is at 2% for height (but on the chart) and just off the chart in weight at 48 pounds. We are going to encourage her to drink between meals because she isn't drinking much for her age. Alison has some marks on her face that the doctors think is recent because it is light in color. Darker skinned people have an initial healing mark that is light in color, then darker and then back to normal. Because these marks are light, they believe them to be more recent. Nothing was mentioned about her having a recent problem. That is a question I will ask when we have dinner with a friend who speaks Cantoneze.

Lynn and I are very pleased with her progress. She understood all of the instructions the doctors gave her today. She is able to convey her likes and dislikes easily. We are using the translator more to tell her what is happening... like "We are going to the doctor this morning and then I will take you to school." She is not a morning person but will get up and get ready for school and eat breakfast.

She likes oatmeal, cold cereal and sausage/egg croissants. Breakfast is our easiest meal. We had green beans and salmon patties for dinner last night and she had seconds of those things but not the potatoes. She does not like flavored yogurt, cheese or cottage cheese.

We were coming to her school as lunch was about over so I stopped and got her chicken nuggets and fries w/ Sprite at a drive-thru. She ate while I drove the last 4 miles to school. She did fine. Here I am feeding a child who has gotten car sick 3 times in the past 10 days junk food as we drive. But, today she was fine. We saved the Sprite until we stopped. Our timing was perfect. We were in her classroom about 5 mintues before the kids returned. She was just fine staying at school.

So how long does the honeymoon last? She has been an angel and so compliant and easy. She is sharing her time and space with her younger nieces and nephews (well, except for Hollie who is 14). There are 6 children in the house right now. We are doing very well. Bedtime is a bit crazy and no one is going to bed early...although I try. Stephen is still at Riley and continues on a vent. We pray for him everyday. Children are the best prayers. I wonder what she thinks life is going to be like? Does she realize the kids are just visitors or does she think this is life at our house. I will have to tell her in the translator. We are planning Friday night to be just us. I think she needs some time with Mom and Dad. Of course the kids will be back by bedtime but that will be ok. Life is good right now.

I am so excited that two of her friends are being picked up in China this week. I will add one of their blogs as a link today. We really want to keep the girls in touch. We are doing so well. I do want to keep the link to her past as well as provide a good future for her. We are so happy to have her. God is so good. Brenda

Pictures

Here are a few pictures of Alison over the last few days.

Alison and Emilie on the computer:


Talking on the phone with her friend. I am sure they were comparing notes on their new families and homes:


Nieces and nephews (Daniel, Ethan, Alison, Joseph, Emilie, Emilie, Alyssa, Calab and Ethan.


Alison at school for Valentine's Day party:


Lunch with sister Angie and Ethan:


Alison and Emilie enjoying food and a Red Envelope at Chinese New Year party:



Lynn

McDonalds Times Two but VERY DIFFERENT

On Monday, I thought it would be good to get Alison out of the house so I called Angie and we took Alison and Nolan to McDonalds. She sat and barely watched Nolan and the other kids in the playscape. Tonight after church, Alison sat at a table with Emilie and ate. As soon as everyone was done, ALL of the kids (Alison at a dead run) headed for the playscape. Lynn hurried in after them and he saw Alison in one of the bubbles looking out at him. She smiled really big and waved. I was a little slower getting in there but I too got the full face smile and a big wave. Wow. McDonalds just five days later is a much different place.

We have four of Tammie's kids still. Stephen is now in Riley and is still having breathing problems. The prayers his siblings say are just so sweet and so spiritual. They are doing great here but miss their parents and Stephen a lot. On the good side though, Alison is thriving having them here. We went to Alyssa's basketball game today. Emilie asked if she could take some pictures so I handed over the camera. Alison took it all in as she watched how Emilie took pictures. They giggled as the pictures were snapped of funny faces or people not aware. Alison is truly as sponge taking every new experience in. We were also quite the parade as we walked to the restroom... of course they all had to go. Alison and Emilie are the "big kids" and are leading the way for the younger.

Lynn took Emilie and Alison to a Chinese New Year celebration in Mooresville today. I guess Alison wasn't going to "talk" to any of the kids there. She liked the food pretty well but wasn't social... her usual very quiet. At home here, Alison has taught Emilie how to play Spidar Solitare on the computer. Maggie, Emilie and Alison are each taking turns figuring out how to use the Webkinz site. Alison has three pets but only one adopted at this time. Alison likes to buy furniture and such for her rooms. I haven't looked to see how much money she has left. I have been playing on her account for weeks building up cash for her. The three of them have all been playing games but probably not making much money. If it were up to the girls, they would watch "Highschool Musical" all day and play computer games at the same time.

I finally cleaned up the house enough to be prepared to give the kids their gifts from China. I had all of them come over this afternoon and they each got a T-Shirt and a toy of some kind. I know, I need to post pictures. Maybe Lynn can do that tomorrow. I am just a little busy with all these kids running around. I gave Alison a T-Shirt and a fan (like the other girls). I asked all the kids to put on their shirts and helped the boys change into theirs. I wanted to take pictures of them all together (well, Hollie and Kyle aren't here). Well, next thing I know, Alison is putting her shirt on as well. Tell me she doesn't understand!!!

We all went to church tonight. Tammie's kids don't have children's church where they go. The kids stay with the parents. So normally I do the same when they are with us. But since the other grandkids were going to church they had someone to go with. So Alyssa and Nolan had Maggie & Joseph in their class. Then Ethan had Emilie & Alison. Because Daniel didn't have a buddy, he came to church with us. The kids loved their classes. Emilie was quick to report that Alison said her name when asked and said she was 9. Let me say that again...
"What is your name"? Alison's answer, "Alison".
"How old are you?" Alison's answer, "Nine".

Emilie comes and tells us everytime Alison says anything. So, we know that Alison is singing some of the songs to "Highschool Musical". She has said, "Ni Hao, Hi, Yeah, Bye-Bye" just to name a few phrases.

Wow, what a day. The kids all get along so well. We are so blessed. We need to get the 'E' kids over their colds. Stephen needs to get better. We have several days now to get some routine going and get everyone healthy so the 'E's can get back to their home where they all want to be. If you read this, keep Stephen in your prayers. He is having such a tough time breathing and he is so tired. God, please bring your healing hand upon Stephen, Daniel, Joseph, Maggie & Emilie. Brenda

First Day at School

When Alison got up this morning, I got the translator and told her we were going to school today for a "heart" party...Valentine Party. We were going to take the cards she made and give them to her new friends at school. We walked into class just before the party. She was a little hesitant but I went with her to her new desk. At first, she didn't want to put her cards into the childrens' bags but I showed her what to do and then handed them to her and she did them. Then about halfway through, she took the rest of the cards and gave one to each child.

She has a personal translator, besides an electronic one.... Jennifer. Jennifer is her translator in the class. Her parents are from Taiwan and she speaks Mandarin (which Alison understands). WOW! What a God thing. Jennifer asked me why Alison was mad and I explained that she was frightened and could not understand our English words. Jennifer asked where her parents are and I tried to explain an orphan to a 7 year old. Jennifer kept saying over and over, "that is so sad". But, I told Jennifer that I am Alison's mom now and we are going to love and take care of her forever. Jennifer's big eyes showed her compassion for a little girl to grow from a baby to a nine year old without a mom or dad and to live each day in a school.

Then we went to computer class. Alison joined the group and walked to class and sat at the computer. I was in the room but across from her and basically out of sight unless she stood up. This child did great. She watched the other kids and did what they did. She is happy with her new desk which has her name on it (she traced her finger over her name). We have two hours under our belt and the next step is to see how she does on Tuesday when she will go probably all day.

School was only half day so close to the end we ran over to see Alyssa. Alyssa is so good with Alison. She introduces her to her friends and tells them that Alison is from China. Alyssa went home with Mark. We met up with the Thomsons and went to Roscos Tacos.

Let's talk about food for a moment. In China, she was pretty predictable with her fried noodles and fried rice although we did get her to branch out to french fries and a hamburger. Since we have been home, she has had pancakes, stir-fry w/ rice (ok, that was a given), oatmeal w/ dinosaur eggs (a winner...every drop eaten), pop tarts (my kind of girl), peanut butter and jelly, spaghetti, hot dogs w/ chili, chicken nuggets, sausage burrito and now loaded nachos... all were a hit. If I had to pick a favorite, it is still french fries but the burrito and nachos are close. Even the pancakes and oatmeal seemed to rate well. She doesn't eat a lot but she eats. She like grapes but not bananas. And my all time favorite, roast, potatoes and carrots got barely a nibble... failed on this one. She likes chocolate milk, Sprite, and orange soda. She drinks milk but not much. She really isn't a big drinker. I bet she doesn't drink 10 ounces in a whole day. We will have to work on this.

The "Highschool Musical" CD was being played a lot when we were home today. The volume somehow kept creeping louder and louder. I would go in and tell her to turn in down and the next song it is loud again. No, we haven't had her hearing checked and we will but do you really think this isn't absolutely normal? I put the CD player on the top of her desk (she has a roll top so it has a high top shelf) thinking she would put a tape in and play in her room. OH NO. She puts the tape in while standing on the chair and stands (rocking to the music) the whole time the CD is playing. Lynn suggests I find a place lower to put the CD player. I guess I should. But maybe the chair is her stage?!

Tammie called this afternoon to say Stephen is going back in the hospital with pneumonia so I offered to come get the kids. I gave Alison a half Dramamine on the way out and she was fine. We were there about 20 minutes and then drove back. It is about 30 minutes each way. Well, she didn't make it. She got sick in the car. But, can I digress a bit... she is a great "puker". Sorry! But this is a very important trait that a mother loves.... she hit the bag, kept it contained and handed it to me when we got home. I really appreciate that.

We took the kids to Bob Evans tonight. The kids each got the kid menu and ordered their food. Alison sat across from me with Emilie and Maggie. Emilie is so sweet with her. Emilie is such a little helper. Anyway, the kids were all coloring and Emilie says, "Grandma, she wrote her name." Alison had folded up her menu by this time so I asked her for it. At first she was hesitant and then she gave it to me. She is a very good at coloring but on one of the pictures she wrote "Alion". OH, MY BABY WROTE HER NAME! OK, I know, she is missing the "S" but you are missing the point of this story.... SHE WROTE HER NAME. I have written it for her several times but she doesn't seem to be paying attention. She was fingering her name on her desk today and I know she recognizes it. I am saving that picture. The first day of school AND she wrote her name.

Alison fell asleep on the couch tonight while Daniel, Joseph, Maggie and Emilie watched a movie. Emilie asked me what Alison's favorite movie is and I told her "Little Mermaid" so that is what they decided they wanted to watch. They have never watched that movie before because it is scary but they watched it all the way through and we just talked though the bad parts with the sea witch and her evil ways. Emilie offered to watch it in Mandarin after they watched it in English so Alison would enjoy it more....ahhhhh! It was 9:30 and time to get these kiddos to bed. Alison, the sombe, was easiest to get to bed. I walked her in there and handed her pj's and she gets in them without fuss. May not always be the case because the other room was filled with the whispers of little voices doing everything but sleeping. I finally had to bring Daniel out in the living room with me so the others could go to sleep.

What Alison must be thinking! What is the family thing all about? Kids coming and going all the time. Everyday it is the boys dropping in/out, Alyssa drops in on some days and now these kids come and spend the night. Lynn has come home and gone to bed very early with his cold ailments. My cough is much better but I wear out easily and I admit to laying on the couch quite a bit this week. And it looks like we live in a hotel. I still have suitcases out in the kitchen (empty but out). All of the souveneirs are out all over the kitchen table. The kitchen counter has things not put away from the trip, dirty dishes, and mail all thrown together. This morning I couldn't find my keys and I was in a panic as to which pile they might have fallen in. At least we live across from the school, we could have walked if we had to.

This has not been a typical week but I am not sure that one of those will exist again for about 10 years or longer. This week has been chaos but happy chaos. We have been sick but content. Alison is so much the trooper. If we want to go, she goes. If we insist, she gives in (except for that dress). What courage God has given this child. What strength! She looks so fragile and tiny but there is a mighty spirit contained in that small frame. We don't know what she is thinking. But she faces each day with courage and expectation that it will be better than her past. We, who know the Lord, know the peace that passes all understanding. We are to come to God like a child. Be child-like in your faith. She believes and trusts so freely. She has faith that we will be good to her. May I never fail my Lord and I have no fear of failing her. Another good day.... Brenda

Chinese Valentines???

What a day! We went to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast (free entree for each person thru March). Alison ate every bit of her breakfast burrito. She watches how we eat everything. I unwraped my burrito from the foil and held it in my hand. She started out just peeling back the wrapper but changed to eat hers like I was eating mine. Such influence.

I had some returns to make. This child didn't like the coat I picked out for her in December. So we made a trip to the mall for t-shirts and whatever. We did Gap for Kids, The Children's Place and the Disney store. Alison is a foo-foo girl which I love. Everything is pink! I tried my best to get her to let me buy a dress for her but she did the adamant head shake (NO) everytime. Now, does that mean she hates dresses or she thinks if she buys a dress she has to wear it in these termperatures? I hope the latter.

Disney was so fun. She is very good at spotting "Little Mermaid" stuff. I bought an Ariel t-shirt, a "Little Mermaid" set of figures, and a Barbie w/ a pony and both have long hair to braid. Well, there was that Ariel hat she wanted. And I believe we picked up a "High School Musical" CD... well, maybe two of them. I did say no to something but I don't remember what. I was just spending the gift money I had been given for her! Afterall, that is what a mom is to do.

We stopped by work. She was very quiet but not frightened. Maybe a little bored. But, I bought her a Sprite on our way out... ok, I was thirsty so I endulged her as well. It was a little late and we hadn't had lunch yet.

On to school shopping. Meijer was our next stop. Folders, crayons, pencils, markers, what fun, what fun. I can't remember any extras in this store. I held my ground but there are the 3 bags of things we hauled out of the mall.

We had to decorate a Valentine box tonight. I had Dad wrap a shoe box in beautiful wrapping paper and she put the heart stickers al over the lid. Alison wrote her name in Chinese on each of the Valentines. I didn't know how many to buy so we have 24. She signed her name like she was some kind of a star. I will add a picture tomorrow. We are going to her class party tomorrow. Her first day (half-day) at school and it's a party day! Her first day is next Tuesday.

She was quite the champ today. The whole day got away from me. I didn't feed this child until 3:00 and then I picked up chicken nuggets and fries. The Dramamine worked that I gave her at the beginning of our long day. She finished the food after we got home but she had half of it eaten in the car. She is a little work horse. She lugged all of those packages out of the back seat and carried them inside. She signed her name over and over and helped me stuff the envelopes. She decorated the Valentine box even though she wanted to play with her new toys.

We watched "Highschool Musical" on Friday with the Thomsons (Caleb, Ethan, Nolan). Then we watched "Highschool Musical II" on Sunday. She wanted to watch it again last night. Then today we bought the CD. I put a CD player in her room and as I walked by her room a couple of times, I saw her dancing a little to the music. She is opening up.

I have to be careful. I don't want this to be a "Santa" relationship. But I love buying her things. I have to have some restraint. I just feel she has done without so long that I enjoy giving her things. How much is too much? Well, we have enough for awhile. School starts next week and that will take a great deal of her time and mine. So much is going on in that little mind. She is so obedient and so patient and yet you know she doesn't understand. She just trusts that she is in a good place and we will take care of her. You know every child thinks that. That is a heavy burden. We all need to take this responsibility so seriously. They trust so totally. Her well being is in our hands. I am responsible to God for how well I meet this responsibility. I am glad I said yes. Alison is so sweet and so trusting. I am so proud of this brave, trusting soul..... Brenda