Getting Close

We are down to nine days before we leave. Nine days seems such a short / long time. I keep thinking of all I have to do but I am not ready to start packing. I have Alison's clothes ready but I want to be able to change my mind.

I have been looking for learning activities. I went to a school supply store tonight and picked up some hand writing work books. Now I am trying to decide how many learning items to take. The focus is on bonding activities and I don't want to overwhelm her. But we will be there for two weeks plus the long plane ride back.

There are moments that I am totally prepared and others that I feel the need to talk to someone who has done this before for reassurance that all will be well or read just one more book on bonding/adoption issues.

There is a DVD set Dora learns Mandarin now. Dora can do anything. I think Dora may be too young for Alison but I also found a Barbie DVD set for learning Mandarin. That might help us and the grandkids but I resisted. Check out ebay for learning Chinese. Ok, you know I was tempted to buy something but I did buy some pants for school tonight so I have my kid purchase fix for today. Whew! I was able to pass up an ebay auction. Actually the bidding goes on for 3 days and I couldn't possibly get it before I leave so I can resist. Besides I can probably buy it cheaper in China

After midnight --- 8 days and counting.

A New Friend to Break the Ice

This is a My Twinn doll (mytwinn.com). I wanted to have a special gift to bring to Alison to break the ice. I want to bring the doll with us on "gotcha" day. I think the doll looks a little like Alison, don't you?


Ok, I admit I got a bit carried away with matching outfits.
I also have jeans, a jacket and pajamas to match. But won't they look so cute?
I think this is the travel outfit. With this outfit, I can protect her hair. I don't think she should wear her shoes though, they may get lost. I admit I have not put her in my carry-on as a trial run. But I can't check her in my suitcase! So either I carry her on the plane or she fits in my carry on bag. I'll let you know when I start packing.

Alison is the 4th from the right in this picture. I don't know why they are all dressed alike. This is the adoptee group but not all eleven. The family that just adopted say that Alison will wear a size 6. At nine and a half she is the size of the our five year old grandkids. This is a "don't mess with me" face.

To maintain privacy of the family that just adopted, I am not mentioning their names. On "gotcha day" their daughter was brought to them in a new red silk outfit with fabric shoes. They had many pictures of her on a CD. Their daughter had the teddy bear they had sent in a care package. She came with a backpack with an outfit to change into and some school supplies. She was very prepared to be adopted and is striving to please her new parents.

Regardless of how our "gotcha day" goes. We feel we have been led to this adoption by God. He will give us the strength to do what we need to do to raise our daughter. At a minimum, we will expose her to a Christian life with moral principles. She will learn that Jesus is her savior. We will love her as the gift from God that she is to our lives. Her life, our lives and the lives of our grown daughters and the grandkids will all be impacted by Alison coming into our home. I pray that blessings abound to all who are touched by this beautiful little orphan coming to America. I can't wait to meet my new daughter.

These eleven girls are coming to America in 07-08 thru adoption. The orphanage has taken several pictures of the girls together and gave the pictures to a family who just brought one of the Zhu Hai girls home in December. Our hope is that we can stay in contact with families who have adopted girls from the Zhu Hai orphanage and get together periodically. These girls share a heritage together.

Alison is in middle row with a white top on. Isn't she pretty? The girl to her left must be her best friend. They are together, side-by-side, in most of the group pictures. Thanks to the yahoo group for Zhu Hai adoptions. I am glad I found you. And thanks to the family who has shared so much in their trip to bring their daughter home.

Sending a "We Love You" Package

After we got our letter of acceptance (Dec 10), I used a shoe box to send gifts to Alison. I tried to think of what I should send to her for her immediate pleasure and to know we are preparing for her. I also wanted some memories for her. So, we sent two disposable cameras. I found a Chinese/English adoption memory book (http://www.sharpbooks.com/about.htm - Maureen Sharp [collector182@hotmail.com]). It is nicely bound and has English questions on left side of book and on the right it is the Chinese translation. The letter that is with the book asks to orphanage to answer the important questions that have been marked (by me). I hope they take the time to do this. I included a small notebook with a pen (hoping her friends might write her a note). I included our email and address in the book.

I sent a 4x6 photo album. I had pictures of her on the outside front and back so she knows it is for her. Inside I put a picture of Lynn and I. I had a Chinese hard back baby book that had a picture of Mom/Dad and the names in pinyan and Chinese characters. So I made copies and put ma ma & ba ba on our pictures. Then I got pictures of our whole family. I put number 1-3 on Tammie, Angie and Michelle and used the Chinese words for "elder sister". I included pictures of each of the girls with their families and repeated the elder sister with their corresponding number (1-Tammie, 2-Angie, 3-Michelle). We have one picture of Nikki (our dog) with Lynn. I have a picture of our kitchen, living room, her bedroom and our bedroom (I didn't want her to think we all sleep together). I included one outside picture of the front and one of the back (with the pool). I did not want to overwhelm her with a lot of house pictures. I wanted her to know she is coming to a nice place and she has a nice room.

I put lots of bubble gum and two small containers of M&Ms. Three pair of "fun" socks, a lightweight duffel bag (to carry any personal items when we meet her). I bought a silver heart necklace and put it in a small tin. I wanted her to have something she could wear everyday to remind her we are coming. Then a Webkinz, cocker spaniel so she will have something to play with.

I should have taken pictures of what I sent. I put her picture on the outside of the box under tape so when it arrives, they will know who it is for.

It was nice to be sending something tangible to our daughter. We sent it thru the post office and had it tracked. It took two weeks to get to final destination. Her box was pretty heavy with the book and all. I really crammed it in. The cost was about $40 to send and we did not insure the package (what was the point). Lynn found the address on the internet and it was confirmed by others who have traveled to the Zhu Hai City SWI.

Preparing for Alison

Her closet is clean. Clothes are folded in drawers. Hanging things in the closet. Her My Twinn doll is ready to make the trip. I have laid out the clothes on her bed that we will take for her. Her travel toys / activities are on the desk. I have contacted school about her likely start date. I even have a list of needed school supplies, the dress policy and the school calendar in my Palm Pilot.

Her room is nice but it isn't her yet. What if she likes pink and not yellow? Well, we will change it...that is why I didn't make major room changes...this way we can have the fun of decorating her room (but I really do like the yellow but it has been that way for 10 years and the room has hardly been used).

I have an electronic translator to convert English to Chinese. Uno, crayons, coloring books, dictionary picture books, Leapster & games, movies, play dough, liquid Tylenol, liquid laxatives for kids, Tylenol Cold/Flu (for kids), lip balm, Muscinex (for kids), ampicilin, anticeptic cream, a Cinderella power toothbrush.

Last fall when I bought the My Twinn doll (mytwinn.com) I bought outfits for the doll and the same matching outfit for Alison. The one outfit that I couldn't get to match was a Chinese outfit for Alison but I bought it for her doll. I spent the weekend looking for that outfit. I couldn't find it anywhere. I searched for about 4 days. Two people I have met online say the orphanage will have Alison dressed in a red traditional satin outfit on "gotcha day". We will meet her with her doll with a hair cut like hers and a similar red Chinese outfit. HOW FUN>

Ok, I am ready.

How we got started...

Our path to adoption didn't start with the idea of raising another child. We do have lots of children in our lives. It started in 2000. Lynn wanted to go on vacation to China of all places. China was one of the last places in the world I wanted to go to. But he found a tour that we could join. I figured if we stayed in 4 & 5 star hotels and we paid all of that money that 1) they couldn't lose us 2) the food would be tolerable. I fell in love with the charm of old world China. We heard about the one child policy and that there are many orphans in China.

In 2005 Lynn and I went to a Home School conference with our daughter Tammie. It was an all day seminar and there were many learning sessions. As I looked at the brochure, I saw a session on the plight of orphans in China. The session was with Tony Brewer, co-founder of A Helping Hand Adoption Agency of Kentucky. I thought I would go hear more about the children of China.

As I heard the stories of the orphans, I felt the heart tug. I heard myself saying inside, I can do something. I have the heart. I have the finances. I have the desire. I have the room. I can make the difference in at least one child's life. When asked why I went to the session, I just said we were going to adopt from China.

Lynn had other ideas. He wanted to do ministry and encourage others to make a difference. So, in July of 2005, we joined a Friendship Team (A Helping Hand mnistry) and went to northwest China where we spent a week with children. I, of course, felt a burning desire to adopt the girl I was with. After prayer, Lynn came to the same place. We started procedings to adopt Xiu Xiu (a 9 year old with eye deformities and poor vision). We were told she would be added to the adoption program. After more than a year, we were told to stop waiting. For some unknown reason, the orphanage decided she would not be included in the program.

In July 2007, we went again to China on a Friendship Team and again were convicted that we should adopt a child. AHH matched us with our Zhu Ai Zhen (Alison) in September.

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This is Lynn, Brenda's DH. It's been an exciting journey over the last 2 years. My head keeps telling me it is crazy to adopt at our stage of life. But my heart keeps convincing me it is the right thing.

I still wish we could have adopted Xiu Xiu, and Jay also. From our 2007 trip there are 4 I would adopt in a heartbeat. We can never make these children our legal children, but they will always be our spiritual sons and daughters. I think of them and pray for them often.

If you ever think about adopting a child but your head tells you to stop, just go visit the children. Just spend a few days with the children who have nothing but need everything. Then let your heart decide.

So, as it turns out, God has given us both desires--to adopt and to help even more children. We're off to China. But I don't think it will be our last trip.

January 11, 2008 7:12 AM